OBAMA’S FINAL SPEECH, REJECTED DRAFT, Found in a White House Press Office Garbage Can by Theodore Kushner’s Nanny – 4 A.M. 1.21.17
POTUS Farewell Adress: Draft 3-2A
Hello, Everyone. In this address I will avoid listing my accomplishments. Whatever they prove to be, I hope you will improve upon them. Let me be clear, I wasn’t ready for this job. I was immediately deluged by lobbyists for Israel, big pharma, Saudi Arabia, China and the financial houses. There is so much I should have done, could have done, would have done, but didn’t do because I played it safe, going along to get along, naive in thinking I could compromise with radical, right wing senators and congressmen, many of whom are, simply put, bigots beholden to one industry or another. I allowed myself to be steered by political hacks from the Democratic Party, and, more insidiously, D.C. lifers who wield the real power here.
I can’t blame them, though. Remember, it’s you, my supporters, who spent more time enjoying my personality instead of criticizing my polices. Frankly, having mainstream America adore me has been extremely awkward. Every day I was somehow reminded of Chris Rock’s famous bit about white people lauding Colin Powell’s ability to speak well, like it should be a surprise. My adherence to maintaining the status quo shouldn’t have come as a surprise. I was a product of the Illinois political machine and the Democratic National Committee. Like Bill Clinton, my wife was a major figure at one of the most powerful corporate law firms in America. Look at my campaign contributors, they are really not much different from the larger Republican donors. Many of you were disappointed with me because I served as a model of corporate compliance, but I have always been beholden to Democratic Party politics and the money behind them.
Once in office, I immediately abandoned many of the grass-roots supporters who so enthusiastically supported my campaigns. First, I rewarded corrupt banks and polluting car companies with a bailout instead of jail sentences. Then, at Israel’s demand, I boycotted the UN’s World Conference Against Racism, Racial Discrimination, Xenophobia and Related Intolerance in April 2009, sending a clear message to marginalized, minority populations around the globe that I did not care about them. Since then I have made piece-meal efforts at enacting progressive change, but I simply took too long, listening to bad advice from the Democratic Party before realizing how much power this nation’s Chief Executive and Commander in Chief actually has. I could have commuted thousands of unjust sentences in my first hundred days, instead I let non-violent prisoners languish for eight additional years. When convenient, I often hid behind arcane White House protocols and traditions.
Watching Trump flout political traditions with such aplomb fills me with regret for not doing more of the same. Too often I let myself be told by career Washington insiders that the repercussions of enacting radical policy reform would be too volatile or dangerous to the health of the party or, more importantly, the economy. This happened on dozens of issues, but most acutely in Syria, Crimea, The Philippines and Guantanamo; with drug and prison reform, and, most tragically, health insurance. I had the ability to expand the VA structure into a single payer national system when Democrats ruled both houses, but settled for the Affordable Care Act, which has my name attached to it, and is being dismantled as I speak to you today. As a Constitutional lawyer I should have known that penalizing people for not buying something, in this case insurance, is illegal.
I also regret not taking a more active role in last year’s election. I was aware of the DNC’s campaign to smear Senator Sanders and anoint then-Secretary Clinton. Her behavior while serving at the State Department in relation to her foundation was not only deplorable, but, and I reviewed this carefully, criminal. I chose not to say or do anything, hiding behind the veneer of respect for the sullied and archaic traditions of the Democratic Party.
For now, of course, I have to re-establish a private life with my family, but you won’t be hearing about me retreating to Palm Springs or Martha’s Vineyard to recover and work a publishing deal. I won’t be renting a $20,000 a month spread in the leafy DC suburbs. No, I’ll be at work Friday, January 20th, right after the inauguration, at an immigration detention center, offering my skills as an attorney to help those folks languishing in that system, which is an international disgrace and violates not only international human rights standards, but meets any layman’s definition of cruel and inhumane.
On a personal note, I regret contributing to the idea that for one to be considered politically legitimate, expensive, uncomfortable, corporate clothing is required. This does not embolden grass-roots community organizers, but validates divisions between suits and long-hairs, haves and have-nots. Instead of boycotting and penalizing corporations that use slave labor, my family and I walked red carpets in unsustainably produced garb stitched by children younger than my daughters. Nelson Mandela had no problem addressing the UN in a floral African shirt. For millions of poor girls and boys, especially those whose parents never wear suits or fancy dresses, inculcating the idea that high fashion has a place in government sets a threshold concept that internalizes economic marginalization. Media coverage of my wife’s clothing choices outweighed the social action programs she actually supported. Instead of talking about obesity and toxic farms, her fans just wanted to admire her wardrobe, poise and other personality factors, which is precisely why the electorate chose a cheap reality show personality to run the most complex and dangerous bureaucracy in the world.
Wasting billions of dollars hosting state dinners and parties. hobnobbing with celebrities, prancing around in expensive clothes while I could have been accomplishing reform on so many fronts — these are regrets that will haunt me forever. I could have been growing cannabis on the White House lawn, instead I accepted millions in contributions from pharmaceutical companies while allowing them to flood American streets with opiates. Instead of learning from families stuck in ICE detention facilities, I sat on TV chat show couches.
Let me clear, President Eisenhower’s warning about a takeover of government by the military industrial complex happened. I did my best to dismantle some of its more obvious programs, but the Trump Cabinet represents the worst elements of militarized fascism this country has to offer. He prefers the company of generals because they can invoke the protection of national security when later questioned by Senate or Congressional Committees. There are dark times ahead. Let’s work together to insure President Trump is impeached and incarcerated before he can further damage our country and the planet.
Which brings me to my final point — the absurdity of our two party system and the Electoral College. It is obvious that both parties are corrupt to the core. The rampant deal-making and nepotism endemic to both was on flagrant display last year. That is why, here in my final address, I am pledging to support, create and explore the creation of a new political party, one whose agenda or name I do not yet know.
One is made aware of thousands of extremely innovative ideas and people while serving as President of the United States. For the rest of my life I will be touring America and countries around the globe as a citizen activist, finding and exploring programs and people who can help create a new political reality, one that prioritizes the protection of our planet and civil rights. I am looking forward to revisiting many of the vulnerable people I met during my presidency in order to see what I can do to help. Because I sent so many young men and women to war, I need to see what I can do to make their reintegration into civilian life as smooth as possible. I will be visiting the places in Yemen, Afghanistan and around the globe where civilians and combatants were injured and killed by American missiles to assess and fix the environmental and social damage.
In order to craft a platform I need to use my skills as an attorney to enact real change through the legal system. Michelle and I have assembled an extremely talented group of lawyers who will be working pro bono on a variety of social justice issues. She and I will be focusing our legal efforts primarily on the abolition of the Electoral College and the impeachment and incarceration of Donald Trump. Further, we will recruit and employ a formidable legal team whose sole purpose will be to support current and future plaintiffs against Donald Trump, his Cabinet and business associates for their many crimes past, present and future. This will include people who have been physically assaulted, defamed and ripped-off by President-Elect Trump. In addition, our legal service has already committed to serving disabled veterans and victims of police abuse in every state.
Finally, Michelle and I have both pledged to never accept money for speaking engagements, a tradition broken in recent history by President Ford and every ex-President since. Former President Nixon believed speaking fees were beneath the dignity of our office, a lesson I hope future ex-presidents take to heart. So, please help protect our oceans and rivers. Also, please respect my family’s privacy. I’ll be seeing you all in court.